Resentment, Recuperation and Resolution
by X-318
Summary: What happened to Max back at Manticore and now that she is back can her and Logan survive the trauma. There is no virus in this story, but will Max and Logan be able to recover what they had missed out on, for being seperated for so long.Please R&R!
1. Future Scars

**Title**: Resentment, Recuperation and Resolution

**Rating**: R (Due to issues of rape, torture, violence and sex scenes later on).

**Disclaimer**: Designate This Re-done. Okay I know this has been done so many times now, and everyone's probably getting bored of it. But I've had this story in my head for a while now, and I just had to post it. I hope you all like this version I've created, and please review, it will make my day J. There is NO virus in this story but will Max and Logan be able to recover what they had missed out on, for being separated for so long. Enjoy!

**Name**: X-318

**Chapter 1**: Future Scars

Max looked up at Foggle Towers, looming over her. She felt so much smaller and weak compared to all the vague memories she had of the place. Relief flooded over her when the realization hit, that she had made it. Only a few more steps and she would be in Logan's arms, a place she had dreamed of being for so long now.

She reached out to press the button for the elevator, when a wave of pain coursed through her body, whatever drug they had pumped her with at Manticore was starting to ware off and the fact that she was standing still now was not helping. It seemed like the elevator was taking ages and when what seemed like a lifetime was over the doors opened. Max staggered in leaning against the wall to support herself from falling over. She looked down to see her injury from before had started bleeding again, probably a stitch had pulled whilst she was running for her life. Her eyes started to close when she was brought back to reality with the noise of the doors opening.

When Max eventually arrived at Logan's door she was thankful to find out that he had left the door open, turning the knob slowly as to not make the pain any worse in her arm. She slid through the opening and leaned back against the closed door when she could feel another surge of pain coming on, it was like someone was stabbing her in the stomach and was slowly twisting the blade.

Once her strength had returned she reached out to the wall opposite her so she could lean against it as she made her way down the corridor towards the room she knew Logan would defiantly be in. She had taken only a few steps when an overwhelming stabbing pain shook her so hard that she could no longer hold herself up and she collapsed to the floor with a thud. She could feel herself slipping away slowly, just before everything around her went pitch black, as if a blanket had been placed over her head.

Logan sat at his computer staring at the image on the screen of Max. He was imagining her returning to him, as if like a miracle she would appear in front of him. He always knew deep down inside that she was still alive, he couldn't face up to the truth that he had been faced with. He was so busy in his thought he nearly didn't hear the loud bang that had come from the hallway. His initial thought was, _whom could it be at this time_, then his mind started to wonder. He opened the draw to his side and pulled out the gun he had for protection. He pushed the chair away from the table and stood up, thankful he hadn't decided to take the exo-skeleton off yet. Logan stepped round the partition but couldn't see any shadows at the moment. Then it hit him, he remembered that he had left the door unlocked, he decided the best thing for him to do would be to get his keys by the door and go get security from downstairs to check things out. When he stepped round the corner he was not expecting to see what was in front of him.

On the floor was a young girl from what he could see. Her hair had fallen to cover her face and the clothes she was in were torn with dirt and blood stains all over. It was obvious to Logan that he had to get this woman to a doctor as soon as possible, he kneeled down besides her taking her into his arms. As he turned her over, her hair fell back out of her face. Logan couldn't believe what he was seeing, was this really Max he was looking at. Her hair had grown nearly double its length and she had lost an awful lot of weight, the curvaceous Max he once knew and loved was now just muscle. He brushed a stay lock of hair away from her face. At the slight contact her eyes fluttered open, to reveal these dark depths, all the life had been drawn from her. The sparkle of life Logan used to be able to see was now gone, replaced with something much more hunting. Theirs eyes meet for a brief second, as Max found enough energy to whisper "Logan", before closing her eyes again, all of a sudden content that she had arrived where she belonged and that she was safe in his embrace.

Logan looked at the floor to see a trail of blood leading from the door to where Max had landed. There was a smudged handprint on the wall, and where Max was holding her stomach there was blood seeping through the fabric. He picked her up and carried her over to the couch, gently placing her on the furniture. Her limbs were heavy and just collapsed around her. He gently propped her head on the arm of the chair, studying her intently.

Logan reached out and removed Max's hand from her stomach, slowly he lifted the rim of her t-shirt just high enough to see the huge gash that spread across her abdomen. The cut was at least two inches thick and had been stitched up some time recently from what he could tell. But the wound had stretched causing the stitches to pop. He had to stop the bleeding, so he pulled his jumper over his head and applied pressure to the wound. Reaching for the phone on the coffee table with his other hand he immediately punched in Sam Carr's number, he knew these injuries were too much for him to take care off on his own. After explaining the situation briefly to Sam he hung up and took Max's hand in his squeezing gently. He wished she would wake up just so that he knew she was ok, but he settled for listening to her calm breathing as her chest rose and fell at a steady pace. If he hadn't known better it looked like she was simply sleeping.

His eye's wondered over her sleeping form, noticing further cuts up her arms along with, which to anyone else might have looked like the track marks of a user but he knew that all this pain and suffering was the dealings of Manticore. This poor frail creature before him must have gone through hell being tortured over and over until she'd crack, but Logan knew Max better. He knew she would never give up without a fight, even if it meant her death, she'd proved this all too many times.

Logan sat there staring at Max until Sam Carr arrived, he didn't know how much time had gone by but it didn't even matter at this point. "Logan", Sam called from the hallway, he had made his own way in, from what Logan had told him on the phone and the tone of voice he used, he knew this was an emergency. After getting no response he made his way to the living room and the first thing he saw was Logan crouched down by the couch. Sam couldn't see over Logan's shoulder but he could see a figure sprawled out on the couch. "Logan", he repeated gently as to not startle him.

Logan turned round, his face as white as a sheet. "You look as if you've seen a ghost", Sam said walking towards his close friend to see how he could help. Once he was close enough he could see the reason Logan looked the way he did. Sam's features automatically turned as pale as Logan's, like the life had been drawn from him at the shock of seeing Max in front of him, lying on Logan's furniture. The things that must have happened to this poor girl for her to be in this shape, Sam couldn't even imagine. Logan had explained a few details about Manticore and what had illegibly happened to Max, so this was as much as a shock for him.

"She's bleeding really bad", Logan chocked pulling Sam out of his thoughts. Logan removed his jumper that he had been holding in place over her stomach for all this time now, and it was socked through. The amount of blood she must have lost was unthinkable. Sam immediately got down on his knees to inspect her injuries. To any normal person this would have been critical but because Max was genetically engineered she hadn't slipped into a coma thus far.

"Is there anything I could do Sam?" Logan asked pacing back and forth behind him.

"Actually there is, do you have any blankets? We need to keep her temperature up", Sam said as he started work on repairing the wounds on her abdomen.

Logan took one last look at Max lying motionless on the couch before he rushed off to get something to wrap round her. When he arrived in the bedroom, logical thought was thrown out the window and the simplest of tasks had become something impossible. _Where do I keep the extra blankets_, he shouted to himself in his head. After realising how stupid that question was he went to the cupboard and started pulling down as many sheets as he could carry. His hands were shaking excessively so he breathed in to calm himself down. He bent over to pick up the blankets from the floor and made his way back to the living room.

"What the hell happened to her Logan?" Sam asked once he saw Logan approaching. Logan's face was blank, and he stood there almost shaking. "Logan?" Sam repeated a little louder this time round.

Logan looked at Sam, searching his face for what he had missed. "Sorry?" he asked, placing the blankets down on the floor and running his fingers through his hair.

"I asked what happened to her?" Sam said not looking at Logan but concentrating on Max completely. Sam was so busy trying to fix the patient he had become close to through Logan, that he hadn't notice her hand move until her eye's slowly opened.

"Logan?" a weak whimper came from beneath him. Sam turned round to look at Logan. He came to the conclusion that he mustn't have heard her because there was no reaction.

"Logan she's calling you", Sam said.

Logan immediately ran to her side taking her hand in his, his thumb was gently caressing her hands as he looked in her eyes. "Thank God", he breathed. Without even thinking on it he kissed her on the forehead pulling back to allow her to speak.

"Am I really here?" she questioned. Truthfully knowing the answer but needed some reassurance. She thought that maybe this was some trick Manticore was playing on her to maybe spill some information about locations, she knew they had used that technique on Zack before. Nothing felt really anymore.

Logan kissed her hand, "Yeah Max…It's really happening, you came back to me like I always knew you would".

"Okay, I'm all done now I'll leave these bandages on for a few days, then I'll check them again to see how everything progressing", Sam smiled at the couple everyone knew belonged together, even if that hadn't occurred to them yet.

"Thanks", Logan said not looking away from Max for even a second.

Sam wasn't sure if he had actually heard what he had said but he decided it was time for him to leave the happy couple to recuperate from the trauma. "I'll be going then Logan", he said getting up after just a, "umm", from Logan. As he left he looked back one last time wondering if Max would be able to get through whatever that place had done to her, the scars were most defiantly not just physical from what he could pick up on the situation.

-

Once Sam had left Max had gone back to sleep and Logan stayed by her side watching her every breath. Now that she was back he didn't think he could ever leave her, he wasn't going to let another year slip past them like before, not again. Whilst she was gone he had come to realise how much he loved her, so now he wasn't going to take anything for granted. What he had said before about, how they have all the time in the world, couldn't have been further from the truth.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Max started kicking her legs and arms about. At first he thought it must be a seizure coming on but when he heard her start to shout he grasped that she was having a nightmare. Tenderly he took hold of her shoulders trying not to hurt her wounds, but to try and wake her up. Then surprisingly she stopped frozen in place.

Logan looked down at the frail shell of a human being before him, all the life Max possessed before had been extinguished. "What the hell did they do to you?" he whispered reaching out to brush a stray hair away from her face, almost instantaneously he felt Max's long elegant fingers wrap round his wrist stopping him from moving. Her eyes had shot open and possessed an emotionless glaze over them. He looked deep into her eyes, the shock evident on his face at her actions. Then he saw a thin film glistening over her eyes before she burst out crying.

She let go of his hand and he enveloped her in his arms trying his best to protect her from whatever was hunting her mind. The crying subsided and he leaned back to look at her face. He didn't want to ask the question because the answer was obvious but he decided that was the only thing he could say so asked anyway, "Are you alright?"

Max merely rolled over on her side facing away from him, she felt weak embarrassed, not how she was trained to behave, if Manticore saw her now the look of disgust on their faces but she didn't really care about them, she was humiliated in herself for ending up like this.

Logan could tell she didn't want to talk about it, and he didn't want to push her into something she wasn't comfortable with. So instead he said, "I need to check on your wounds". Logan waited until Max made the first move and she rolled back so she was lying flat on her back.

Logan extended his hand to check on Max's bandages, lightly brushing his fingers over her stomach. Max squirmed under his touch remembering what she had been through. "I'm sorry did I hurt you?" Logan asked pulling his hand back and searching her eyes for an answer.

Even though she knew it was Logan and she had wanted this for so long even dreamed about it back at Manticore, the feel of someone's hands against her skin reminded her of the X5's that had been sent into her sleeping quarters by Renfro, she was rendered useless strapped down and sedated so heavily that all she could do was lie there. She had tried her best to block out what was happening to her, forget the pain that it was causing but it was still there, the memories. Now the feel of Logan's hand against her skin, repulsed her in ways she would never have imagined. Before when she was in heat she had felt out of control like she was looking in on what was happening and feeling helpless but what they had done to her at Manticore was nothing if not rape.

Max couldn't stop the tears from escaping, the floods of emotion was overwhelming. Logan looked at Max not knowing what he could do, he felt useless, and he had never seen Max like this before. Yeah he had seen her upset about her siblings and the memories of Manticore from when she was a child but this was different, he had never seen her cry this much before.

"I…I'm scared Logan", Max whispered so quietly Logan almost didn't hear her.

"It's ok Max, you're home now, they can't hurt you any more. I'm right here". Max rolled over, now face to face with Logan. She pulled her legs up to her stomach in the fetal position.

"I don't want to hurt anymore", she almost chocked. Logan took her hand in his and squeezed it to try and reassure her the best he could. Max felt dirty, violated she needed to get out of these clothes that resembled Manticore, all she wanted to do was burn them, get rid of any trace of them. "I need a shower", she said trying to get up, the pain evident on her face.

Logan reached out taking her arm so as to help her up. Logan guided her to the door as she leaned on him for support. "You sure you'll be okay?" he asked worried about her being able to cope on her own. Even though he wanted to help her, it would have been way to fast and even he knew that.

"Yeah", she said leaving his support to lean on the door and she went in the bathroom closing the door behind her. Logan stood outside listening just encase, when he heard the spray of the shower start up he left the room to give her some privacy.

Max stepped under the spray of water, revelling in the heat it produced, back at Manticore it was short, cold showers, with many cubicles in one room and no isolation or space to yourself, Max imagined that's what prison must be like. As the glass door started to fog up from the steam she remembered the times they had put her in a small confined glass room. This technique they called re-indocunation trying to make her one of them again, as she dismissed their demands the wall started to close in on her. Once they had left her there for two weeks, her muscles had seized up and she had been starved of food and water. As the memories flooded back she moved her head under the water and ran her hands through her hair, trying to cleanse her soul.

She looked down at her flat stomach and her hips that protruded out from her body. The sight was sickly she looked seriously anorexic. As the dirt from the woods round Manticore washed from her body, the feelings to why she had before taking the shower for were still present.

She realised she had been in there for a while now and she didn't want Logan worrying so she turned the water off and stepped out wrapping herself in one of Logan's huge fluffy towels as the cold air hit her body. After drying off she walked out the bathroom to see that Logan had found out some clothes she had left there after going on a mission for him and decided to stay the night because it was getting late.

She changed into the clothes opting to put on one of Logan's shirts instead of her t-shirt though for comfort, thankful that he had saved them even though he thought she was dead. Then sat down on the edge of the bed. When Logan came back in the room she was staring into space, probably thinking about everything that had happened. He could see a teary look in her eyes so decided to bring her out of it by changing the subject. "Hey, I was thinking on cooking up one of my culinary miracles, any preferences?" He asked trying his best at a smile but it came of like it was forced. Now that she was all freshened up she was starting to resemble the Max he knew and loved.

Max looked up at this man that was trying his best to help her but she wasn't ready to deal at the moment, "Actually I was gonna take a nap", she said lying back and rolled to face the wall instead of Logan. She just prayed that even though she was pushing him away now he would stick around for when she was ready to tell him everything.

Logan decided to leave her to it so went back to his workstation.

-

Max shot up in bed automatically scanning the room until it clicked that she was no longer at Manticore. The room she was in had a warm feel about it, something Manticore had never given her. After a quick recovery of her memories of the last few days events she relaxed slightly as the pain returned to her injured limbs. She could feel a sharp pain pushing against her lungs on the right side, she soon concluded that it must be due to a few broken ribs, it was hard to pin point. Her whole body felt heavy and exhausted, it was a struggle for this genetically engineered killing machine to barely lift the covers from off of her before swinging her legs round to the side of the bed.

Bracing herself steady on the edge of the mattress, she pushed off, stumbling a little to regain her balance. Max felt like, she had been hit by a truck, then the driver had backed up to finish the job off. She looked down to see that she was dressed in a lose pair of her combats and one of Logan's shirts with the sleeves dangling down past her hands. As a sudden shiver took over her body causing her to wrap her arms around herself in an attempt to warm up a little.

She scanned the room again, this time realizing it was Logan's bedroom and noticing over on the chair in the corner of the room was one of Logan's old sweatshirts, which had been thrown haphazard over the arm. She silently staggered across the room retrieving the garment and sliding it gently over her head in order to not cause any more harm to the injures she already had. Max wrapped her arms around her body breathing in a shaky breath. She could smell Logan all over the item of clothing. This reassuring sent warmed her throughout, finally allowing all the memories of the past three months to drift away to the back of her mind.

How much she would love to erase those torturous memories from her head all together, the cold hard truth about it was that she knew that would never happen. She knew Manticore had ways of making your life hell but those last few months had been the worst she had ever experienced, because this time she had people she cared deeply about and they did everything they could to use that fact against her.

As all these thoughts were clouding her mind, she was unaware of the seizure that was building up inside her. She felt her head go dizzy and grabbed the chair as her body started to shake uncontrollably. Her legs gave way beneath her as she fell into the chair, her head now between her legs trying to get some oxygen into her blood, so that she'd have the energy to stand. As the seizure gradually subsided she stood up and made her way to the door.

Max's ears picked up on the light sound of tapping on a keyboard, as she wondered how long had she been asleep. She ambled towards the sound, bracing her hand against the wall, she still felt weak on her feet, and she hadn't eaten in weeks the thought of food made her hungry as a grumble escaped her stomach. When she got to the room she stood a few feet away from Logan, he hadn't noticed her approach and he seemed busy typing at his computer.

Max's eyes drifted over his body, his hair had grown and wasn't spiked up like he used to wear it before she was taken back to Manticore. He looked as if he had lost weight, resulting from not eating properly, the worry for Max had consumed his whole life and the simplest tasks like eating he had forgotten about. There was a bottle of whisky that rested on the edge of the table, over half the content had gone. Max felt guilty as if she had caused all this pain, physical and mental. But truthfully all this lead back to Manticore, why couldn't they just leave her alone.

Max's attention was drawn to a mark on Logan's wrist, there was a purple discolouration on his skin resembling a bruise. Soon Max realised that it must have been from when she had grabbed his hand from touching her. She hadn't meant to do it, and defiantly not to harm Logan. Max could feel her eyes welling up and her vision going blurry from the tears about to fall. She didn't want Logan seeing her like this so she made her way round the room towards the kitchen. Her head still hurt and her hand was shaking from the seizure about to take over her body. She needed some Tryptophan, if not some milk to tide her over until she found the energy to make it back to the bathroom, she knew Logan had a stash encase of emergency. Then she thought what if he had thrown it, he did think she was dead after all, why would he have needed it now.

Max opened the fridge door on arriving in the kitchen, and started pouring a glass of milk. She could see her hand shaking even more by now, _No not now_, she thought placing the carton back on the surface. Max grabbed the work surface for stability but it was too late as the shakes took over her body, she knocked the glass to the floor, shattering and sending milk flying across the polished wooden floor. Max tied her hardest to stay standing but the seizure was worse than normal and her body was still weak from all that had happened recently. Her head felt like it was in a clamp and being tightened by the second, the pressure was making her sight blur as everything yet again went black.

Logan was pulled violently out of his thought by a crash coming from the kitchen, he peeked his head round the division to see Max shaking on the floor. He jumped up and ran to her side lifting her into his arms and carrying her back to the bedroom so that she couldn't hurt herself on the broken glass. After placing her on the bed he rushed into the master bathroom, flinging open the medicine cabinet and grabbing the closest bottle of Tryptophan he could find.

He propped Max up with his arms as he gentle shock her to make her open her eyes. "Max…open your eyes…Max, come on you have to wake up now", he pleaded. Her shaking had calmed down significantly, but she was still unconscious. "Max…please open your eyes", he begged again stroking the hair out of her face.

Max bit by bit opened her eyes looking up at Logan, "You have to take these Max", Logan said gesturing with the pills in his hand. As Max opened her mouth he popped them in brushing his fingers over her full lips before closing her mouth. He waited to see her swallow them before he could relax a little at knowing he had done all he could. He could see her breathing slow down to a normal pace, and he couldn't hold himself back from hugging her close.

"Logan, I can't breath"

Logan stopped and pulled back so he could look her in the face, "What's wrong?" Logan said searching for an answer.

Max looked at this caring man before her and wondered to herself, what she had done to deserve him. "I couldn't breath, you were holding me too tight", Max repeated.

Logan smiled after hearing Max speak for the first time properly since she came back, this was the Max he remembered the one with the witty comments. Even though she looked different and her eyes were missing the sparkle they usually had, he knew she was still in there somewhere. He was trying his hardest to hold back the tears.

"Your not gonna cry on me, are yah?" Max smiled up at him.

Logan returned the smile as best he could.

"Finally, I was starting to wonder when I was gonna see those pearly whites again". Logan thought, trust Max to come out with something like that at this moment, his smile spread from cheek to cheek at having Max back. "Good cause I'm staving, and if I remember correctly you're one hell of a cook", Max raised an eyebrow as her stomach almost on cue rumbled to prove her point.

Logan got up from his seat on the edge of the bed, "Sure Max I'll get you whatever you command".

"Oh really…" Max said smiling at the thought, "…you're gonna regret saying that".

A/N: Ok I hope you liked, please review so I knew if it's worth continuing at all. I know it's been done before but I promise I have a spin on the story in mind. I will be posting another chapter for "Created to Kill" very soon. Thank you for reading!


	2. Nothing is Sacred Anymore: PART ONE

**Title**: Resentment, Recuperation and Resolution

**Rating**: R (Due to issues of rape, torture, violence and sex scenes later on).

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, they are property of James Cameron and Fox.

**Name**: X-318

**Summary**: Designate This Re-done. There is NO virus in this story but will Max and Logan be able to recover what they had missed out on, for being separated for so long. Enjoy! Ok this chapter has taken me ages to write so I hope you like, here it goes. Thanks for all your reviews they were very much appreciated! I will explain everything about the escape and what happened to her in due course, this will mainly be through flashbacks and remembering in dreams, so please stick with me. Warning this chapter may contain shocking imagery. But it's balanced out with loads of Max and Logan to make up for it.

**Chapter 2: **Nothing is sacred anymore: PART ONE.

Constantly lying down had taken its toll on Max, it was not something she usually did especially during the day. Whilst back at Manticore that was all she seemed to be able to do mainly from being strapped down. She could hear Logan frantically rummaging through the cupboards in the kitchen, looking for some ingredients so he could whip up a wonderful creation. She wished that everything that had happened recently was just a terrible dream and when she turned the corner she would see Logan the same as any other time she had stayed over after a mission. As she made her way towards the noise, she could hardly keep her balance so leaned against whatever was nearest for support. She could hear the whirring of the exoskeleton as he moved around the kitchen, a place he had not actually been in a while, unbeknownst to her. It hadn't felt right for him to be going about life as normal when Max wasn't around to share it with him.

As he pushed aside boxes and containers looking for the full ingredients to make anything as long as it was edible. He couldn't stop thinking about the Max that had returned to him, Manticore must have done something really awful, worse then anything before, for her to be in this much of a state. It was unbearable to even think of what might have happened. The anger inside him started to build up for not being able to be there for her when she needed it, she had already gone through more than any other person and she was only so young.

Whilst Max was sleeping he had done his best to clean up the blood that had seeped into the hardwood floor from where he had found her collapsed. But the task wasn't as easy as he first thought it would be, it didn't matter how hard he had scrubbed even causing his own hands to bleed in the process it just wouldn't budge. Now there was a constant reminder of this day etched into the surface of the floor near the door, the last thing he wanted was for Max to see it. The sight of seeing her lying on the floor motionless flashed into his mind for the hundredth time that night, and he shook his head to budge it. That moment was the most joyous and terrifying moment in his whole life to see she had returned but the pain she was obviously in.

Whilst watching her sleep sometimes he could see the innocence of such a young woman. She had never had the chance to be a child like most people. _No one should have to go through what torture they presented to her_. As his thoughts consumed him he realised his grip on the cupboard handle was so tight that he had cut off the blood travelling to his hand. The harsh white colour of his knuckles expressed his emotion in a vivid reality. He was not an evil person, just the acts that he did as eyes only proved that. But at this moment thinking of the people, if you could call them that, at Manticore hurting his Max brought forward things he wouldn't normally wish on anyone, but he couldn't help himself. If he would come face to face with these _people _he didn't think he would be about to hold his cool, and the person he didn't ever want to become would be let loss uncontrollably. He would never be able to look at Max again without thinking it was all his fault, _I should have told her not to got, we should have sat down and thought out a better plan before going ahead with it_.

But as these thoughts kept coming to him he realised his Max wouldn't have listened, she cared too much about her family that was one of the reasons he loved her. He had seen her develop into a strong, caring individual that unlike when she first turned up on his doorstep, or window, just looking out for number one. Deep down he know that was just something to hide behind so people wouldn't get close. But it had not worked on him, he had fallen in love with her, but just to scared to admit it thinking she would never want someone like him especially with the chair.

Logan could hear shuffling down the corridor and without turning around greeted Max with the first thing that came to mind, "You should be in bed resting…You seem to be losing your touch, not your usual stealthily approach", he turned round to see Max leaning against the table that supported his computer. Her face was pale and lifeless, he could see she was still weak, as she stumbled over her own feet. His smile soon faded, and in a heartbeat he was next to her holding her arm in his to steady her, his other hand resting on the small of her back as she leaning against him for support. "This is why you should be in bed", he said leading her to the chair in the kitchen so she could sit down for a minute. It felt strange to her to have someone care about her so much and the emotions were almost too much for her to take in.

Max took a shaky breath after taking the weight off her legs, "I'm fed up of lying down. The real reason you want me in your bed, is so that you can have me all to yourself", Max said smiling up at the gorgeous, caring man beside her. She didn't necessarily mind if that was the real reason, but that concept would have been better if he was there to witness it with her. He had moved to the side and Max realised how much she missed his touch.

Logan smiled at the thought Max had created in his head, and the comment that relaxed his uneasiness and worry. "I wouldn't want anything to happen to you now that your back". He returned the smile showing the cute dimples she loved so much. A silence washed over them both, but it was a comfortable one no awkwardness about it. Max was looking up at him, the seating now reversed. He looked tired and scruffier than usual with his hair falling down in his face. She hoped he hadn't stayed up all night because of her. Throughout the night she had felt his presence in the room with her, and more than once she hoped he would join her in bed holding her close so she felt save in his embrace. But that never happened, maybe he thought he would hurt her or maybe it was because in the short time she had returned it felt like they had gone backwards in their relationship instead of progressed or picked up from where they left off. _It's all my fault_ she thought, _I shouldn't have pushed him away when he was there to help me, he doesn't want anything to do with me now anyway. Who would I'm broken goods now, not that I was ever right in the first place_.

Max was content to just sit there all day and gaze at Logan in front of her. Back at Manticore she would picture his face whenever things became to tough and his smile would make everything better. More than once she had to hold herself back from smiling, if Renfro had seen that things would have been even worse. They had tried re-indocunation more than once with no success but when they were trying to get her to spill on eyes only and she could see the image on the screen from one of his hacks all it did was reassure her everything would be okay.

"How long was I out for anyway?" Max asked changing the subject. She leaned forward placing her head in her hands before running her fingers through her dishevelled hair. She didn't really care what she looked like at the moment, she felt relaxed enough around Logan to know that it didn't really matter what she looked like. Closing her eyes for a brief second she realised how tied she actually was but didn't want to be alone in her sleep, where all those thoughts could invade her. Instead she wanted to forget the best she could.

Logan could see she was struggling to stay awake, her eyelids barely able to stay open. "All together…I'd say twelve hours". In all that time Logan hadn't closed his eyes once, scared that if he did then this would turn out to be a dream. Both of them needed the rest but both not wanting what would come with that. Logan looked down realising he had been wearing the exoskeleton throughout the entire night, then it hit him how exhausted he felt and the muscles he could feel were strained and heavy, screaming out to him.

"Wow that must be a record, my personal best. What time is it now?" Max asked raising her head up, from her arched over position at the island in the centre of Logan's kitchen.

"10:30am…" Logan said stepping forward to lean on the same table Max was. "Okay it seems that my cupboards are kind of bare, how's pancakes sound for now", he continued lightening the mood with a smile. "Sorry but they're going to have to be plain too". Now at eye level he could see the look in her brown depths, they had returned to how he remembered them. Fall of life, but there was something else that was there, something unfamiliar, something that portrayed sorrow and pain. What must she have seen or experienced for this, the only time he had seen this look was in his mother's eyes when she told him his father had died. He would never forget that day and the look on her face. It was hard to explain but it was like her eyes had glazed over, she had lost the will to live. A huge part of her had been taken from her and now he could see this same look in Max. He wanted to ask her everything, what happened to her? How was she sitting here with him now when he had seen her die? What did they do? But he wanted Max to come to him when she was ready, if she was not prepared to relive that pain yet then he would wait forever if need be.

To Max some of his fabulous pancakes sounded heavenly, but then again so would anything compared to the rations of food she received back at Manticore. That's if she got anything at all. "Whatever…But make sure you make loads I'm starved". Logan smiled at the comment that was so predictably Max, it was almost like she had never left. He had not cooked for anyone whilst Max was not around, and barely even for himself he didn't see the point for anything.

Now that they were positioned so close to each other, a mere step away. Max could clearly see the mark she had caused to his skin. It had turned a painful shade of purple, black in some places. Her hands had done this to him, she had hurt him in ways she would hurt her worst enemy. Whilst she was doing it, she couldn't even see Logan in front of her, instead she could see the faces of her attackers from Manticore. After being dragged back to Manticore she had come to realise the harsh reality of the stories her brother Ben had told her when they were children. Whilst there she had spent most of her time in the basement, or solitary as they called it. She would lye on the cold metal bed unable to sleep for fear of what was to come. The constant sounds of howling from pain and hunger, from the cells of the ones that weren't so lucky. Their DNA so screwed up they had never known of a place called outside, and probably never would. The hatred and burning anger in her eyes for the ones that followed orders like good little soldiers and doing as Renfro had told them. Not knowing right from wrong, she couldn't blame them as much as the ones that gave the orders. When she sensed a hand coming towards her the other night, not knowing it was Logan she did all she could to defend herself. "Sorry…about that…" Logan followed her line of sight to his wrist, "…Does it hurt?" she asked unable to look him in the eye to see the pain she had caused him.

Logan pulled his sleeve down to cover the bruise as best he could, "It's nothing, I'm fine", he didn't want her having to worry about anything else on top of the thoughts in her head. He reached across the table and gently placed his hand on top of hers. Max flinched, her first reaction wanting to pull away but deciding against that when she saw the thoughtful, compassionate look in his eyes. The truth was she didn't want him to see her hands, they were cut, scratched and if Original Cindy saw her nails all chipped and busted she would probably have a heart attack.

Max was wearing his jumper he had found her in when she had collapsed on the floor early. It was unfamiliar but pleasant at the same time to see her so relaxed in an item of his clothing. Something he hoped he would have seen if they had ever got together. The idea of her skin brushing against something he had worn not so long ago ignited something within him he hadn't confessed to being there not so long ago.

Max noticed Logan had been staring at her, it took her a while to figure out it was because she had stolen his sweatshirt, which she was comfortably snuggled in. The arms were way too long and the garment drowned her petite form, but she liked to have an item of his clothing with his scent on wrapped round her. That way she knew she was back and no one could change that. "Sorry 'bout thieving your jumper, I was kinda cold", she had grabbed the hem and was about to pull it over her head when Logan's calming voice stopped her in the process.

"No problem Max, looks better on you anyway. What's mine is yours", he replied smiling at her cute attempt at apologising, for taking a piece of his property. He thought it was weird to have her saying sorry for an act that had become predictable in the last year to see her do, that is how he had meet her after all. But he quickly brushed that thought aside and returning to the task at hand, breakfast. Mustn't keep a genetically engineered solider waiting for food, especially when she hadn't eaten properly in three months.

He commenced in taking all the ingredients out that he would need to make the pancakes, placing them on the work surface as Max watched every move. It was like she had never left, this is how things had always been. Her perched on the counter observing him as he made them a fabulous meal. She was never the greatest of cooks and Logan's foods had every taste bud tingling with delight.

While Logan was busy at work, Max noticed the headache that had been present since she had gotten out of bed, but it had not budged. She had knocked her head on the way down from the seizure and a lump had formed, throbbing from the pain. Max shut her eyes in frustration, wishing the pain would go away so she could go back to her normal life and not be remembered of all the things Manticore performed on her. But would that ever really happen, or was she just praying beyond hope. The more Max continued to think on the subject the worse her head felt. She could see Logan in the corner of her eye, he had started humming as he flipped the pancakes that had started to bubble.

Logan turned round as the first set were nearly cooked, noticing Max was in some pain from the look on her face. "Are you okay?" he asked stepping closer, his overprotective nature towards her kicking in.

"Yeah I'll be fine, just got a headache…it'll pass", she lied slightly not wanting Logan to worry. "So you gonna feed me or what?" for now moving away from the subject. Logan grabbed her plate and started filling it with the golden pancakes giving it back to her once he had placed everyone on her plate. He wasn't hungry for now instead was content to see her enjoy. They settled down around the island, Logan sipping on his coffee and Max with a full glass of milk encase any seizures decided to rear their ugly head today.

Max popped another mouthful of pancakes covered in syrup into her mouth when it occurred to her that she hadn't seen Original Cindy and that she would need to let her know that she was back. Max hastily swallowed the food without even chewing properly, "I almost forgot about OC, she'll be freakin' out wondering where I am", Max was in the middle of regaining her balance to get up when Logan's hand came up to stop her. She turned to look at him waiting for what he had to say.

"Already fixed, I phoned her said I needed a favour, she doesn't know anything", Logan continued after seeing a relieved look wash over Max's face, "She'll be over in two hours", he said looking at the clock briefly.

"Thanks Logan, what would I do without you", Max popped another bite in her mouth, a very pleased look plastered on her face and a mischievous glint in her eye as she stuck her tongue out to wipe the syrup from the corner of her mouth. Logan was mesmerised by the women in front of him, and content at seeing her smile so sweetly. He had truly missed that while she wasn't around, whenever he saw her it would bring a smile to his face. More than once while she was at Manticore and he had fallen asleep on the couch after another restless night, hearing the door open he would bolt up expecting to see Max walk through the door but instead it would be Bling. Who had become an even more permanent fixture in the apartment after he had heard about what had happened to Max and seen how Logan was far from coping on his own. When Bling saw Logan's face fall he would come out with something like "It's great to see you too", or "Sorry to disappoint". But Logan would never be in the mood and turn to look out the window up at the space needle. Thinking if he looked hard enough he would be able to see Max walking out to her usual spot on the edge where she had taken him the day they took down Manticore. He should have told her how he felt then, instead of thinking they had forever.

Max was enjoying this moment with the man she cared so much about opposite her as she finished off her second plate of pancakes. "What I miss while I was gone?" She asked wanting to get her head off of everything Manticore by just chatting like they used to.

"Nothing much, you know the usual blah, blah, woof, woof right. But it hasn't been the same without you raiding my fridge all the time", Logan said remembering the first time he felt those lips on his. Using the same words she used to describe the work he did.

Max was unable to hold the smile back, "Glad to see I was missed".

"Oh you were missed for sure", he said moving his hand to rest on her knee. He soon realised that she had not bothered in erase the close contact, but removed his hand after awhile anyway, he didn't want to push her into things too quickly. "I have a surprise for you. So hurry up and finish your breakfast then I can show you", he added as his lips turned up on the ends into a half smile.

"Really?" her eyebrows rose to the idea, "How did you know I'd be coming back?" Max asked in playful banter.

"I never thought you wouldn't, I mean why would you give up your meal ticket that easily", he answered with as much eagerness to return to how they used to talk comfortably together.

Max was touched at his words knowing that even though she felt different on returning, he was still treating her the same way, "So what's this surprise then?" The curiosity getting too much for the little patience she had.

"If I told you how would it be a surprise", he teased leaning into her a little more than usual.

"Aww come on, you know my patience is small to none existent", she found herself leaning forward also and now their heads were centimetres apart. She could smell the masculine aftershave he was wearing. Max noticed Logan's hand was reaching round her back and leaned in to brush against his touch slightly. Max's nose was near his cheek as he turned his head towards her face. Max breathed in sharply, everything from before forgotten now she was so close to Logan. His beard grazed her chin slightly sending pleasant slivers down her spine, unlike the ones she experiences when having a seizure. Her eyes were drawn to Logan's mouth as it started to move, not quite hearing the words formed.

"Max…I said have you finished with the food now", Max shook her head trying to bring herself back to the present instead of wherever she was just. "No…Okay I guess your surprise will have to wait a little longer then", Logan said pulling back after seeing her response. _Had she just felt what I just felt _he thought, _the sparks between them, were they really there or a figment of my imagination_.

It took Max a while to regain her composure, to realise what had just happened and why he had pulled back. _He hadn't been leaning into me, he had been reaching for my plate, God I'm an idiot_. "Oh…yeah I'm done…Don't make me wait any longer than I already am", she said after hearing his question go over in her head again.

"You sure?" he asked leaning forward to grab the plate for the second time.

"I'm sure", she moved out his way so he could take the plate. As he got up and moved to the sink to rinse before placing it in the dishwasher. Max watched ever move from her seated position behind him. How he had become so comfortable in using the exoskeleton since she had gone. But then she realised he probably had no choice about it he had no cat burglar to do his legwork anymore for his eyes only missions. But then she thought what if he had gotten into some sort of trouble because she wasn't there to protect him like the day he got shot. All of a sudden she felt guilty for leaving him, even though it couldn't be helped. She felt herself slip back into the heartache state she was in after waking up.

Max was about to get up when Logan appeared at her side helping her, she hesitated a moment before taking his hand and leaning into his side. Even though she'd never admit it she liked having someone to take care of her like Logan was. She was supposed to be the tough warrior looking after herself showing no weakness but sometimes even she has to relax.

* * *

Max's head was rested on Logan's shoulder as he held her hand in his. The ride down to the parking lot in the elevator was silent but peaceful. Logan's excitement was building at the thought of seeing Max's face when she saw that her baby was safe and sound. The doors opened and they were greeted with an eerie silence from the empty parking lot. Logan led Max out holding onto her hand to give her the strength she needed.

Max looked up when she realised where they were heading, that's when she noticed her surprise parked in pride of place next to Logan's Aztec. The thought hadn't even occurred to her about what had happened to her baby, she had been too preoccupied with everything else. If he hadn't have brought this back here someone would have nicked the thing most defiantly, she was touched that he thought about her most precious possessions to have gone and retrieved it. She looked up to see him smiling down, she hadn't noticed the goofy grin that had spread across her own face whilst standing there. "Thank you Logan. Thing probably would have been in a thousand pieces if I had to go back and get it now".

"It's no problem. But I have to confess I've taken a few rides of my own". Max could see the impish smile on his lips waiting for her answer. Truthfully she liked the idea of having Logan on her bike and she wished there was more of that to come, but with her there this time to enjoy it with him.

Max nudged him in the side, "No problamo, you're more than welcome". She moved out from under his arm over to her bike, running her fingers over the smooth surface.

* * *

Bling used his key card in the swipe machine on the elevator. He had made his way round to Logan's apartment to check up on him and bring round a few groceries. He was worried about his employer and now best friend, seeing him go through something so terrible and not knowing how to help. He didn't know what to say and Logan seemed to becoming more reclusive by the day, not talking, not eating and not having enough rest. Most mornings he would find Logan in the same position he had left him the night before sitting at his computer, staring at the screen. This Max thing had hit him really hard, and he wasn't sure if he'd make it through. The guy needed some kicking into shape, but he didn't know how long he should give him, it had been nearly three months and no change.

When the elevator doors opened to reveal the hallway he saw that the door to the apartment was open. Unsure as to why this was he slowly made his way through the entry slipping the bags to the floor near the door and retrieving the gun that was tucked into the back of his waistband. The first thing to catch his eye was the bloodstain on the floor that had been attempted to clean up but leaving a lasting mark. Bling started to worry the worse scenario possible his mind working over time. Had someone found out Logan was eyes only and come for revenge, but how could that be. He made his way into the kitchen, there was no sign of a struggle so that reassured him a little. Leaning over the sink he could see the remains of a glass, broken into pieces. Nothing was making any sense, maybe Logan had had a slight accident with the exoskeleton. He never really liked that damn thing it caused more hassle than it's worth, always shorting out, and it didn't solve the problem of Logan being paralysed from the waste down.

Bling could hear soft mumblings in the hallway so made his way over to the door, recognising one voice as being Logan's and the relaxed tone, he placed his gun down on the worktop and walked closer to the conversation going on behind the door. When the door opened to reveal Logan standing there as shocked as he was he couldn't see the other person to the side of him obstructed by the door in front. "Hey man what the hell happened?" he demanded realising after that his tone might have been a bit harsh. Before he could answer the mysterious other person made themselves known stepping round Logan to come face to face with the friend she had come to know so well through Logan. Bling was dumbstruck at what he was seeing, "Max?" was all he could get out before he wrapped his arms around the petit figure, holding her close. "How is this possible, this guy told me you were…I mean…you".

Max pulled back to look at Bling in the face, he was obviously struggling with the words he wanted to say so she thought she'd finish it for him, "Dead, yeah I was for a brief moment". She looked over at Logan, and the look on his face at the realisation was heart wrenching so she thought she'd have to say something else, "But I'm back now…right", she squeezed his hand in hers as she saw his smile reappear.

Bling had continued to talk, "I can't believe it". But Max's attention had been caught by something else, she had noticed the gun on the table and all of a sudden everything drained away and all she could remember was the armed soldiers trained on her outside her cell. The noise of the magazine going off from the gun held by her clone as she was on her way back to Logan. Her hand started to shake, she didn't want this to happen again, she needed to get out of here before she broke down. Max stepped away from Logan who had started replying to Bling's questions, he looked down at her his face a blur.

"I'm gonna go take a shower before Original Cindy gets here", she left them standing there watching her leave before she was bombarded with further questions, she didn't have the answers for.

Bling looked at Logan, he was happy and sad all at the same time. There was something obviously wrong, something they weren't telling him, something he probably didn't need to know yet and something they had to sort out first. "Hey Logan…" he said waving his hands in front of his friends face, once he got his attention he continued, "…Think I'm going to head off". The only response he got was a weak "Okay", thinking he hadn't really been heard but deciding to leave it. He grabbed his gun from the table patting his friend on the back as he moved round him. He looked down to see Logan was wearing the exoskeleton, "Don't you think you should take that thing off…I'd hate for you to start having spasms. You've got someone else to look out for now", he opened the door and made his exit leaving them alone.

* * *

Max had freshened up and decided she had been hiding long enough so went in search for Logan, preparing herself on the way for all the questions she knew he probably had for her. _Why she ran off like that when Bling turned up?_ And, _Why she hadn't talked about anything Manticore sense she had returned?_ Honestly she didn't really want to talk about it right now but he deserved to know. She found him sitting at the computer, but this time in his wheelchair. Her strength had come back slightly after having something to eat, she had been deprived of the essential foods to keep her going. She guessed they didn't want her to recover at her normally speed instead making the pain last as long as possible. Max was interrupted by a knock at the door, she looked at the clock and realised it was probably Original Cindy. She made her way past Logan who had noticed her presence by deciding to give her some time. "I'll get that", he said calmly unlocking the brakes of his wheelchair. But Max was standing in his way looking down at him.

"Please, I wanna get it, I wanna see the look on my boo's face", Max whispered not wanting her OC to hear her voice. After arguing with Logan about her having to rest. She won out in the end wanting to surprise her friend. Max's bare feet patted quietly on the floor as she got closer her heart had started racing, thumping against her chest. She turned the handle bracing her feet on the ground for the huge bear hug she knew she'd be faced with.

Logan could hear a gasp of surprise from Original Cindy followed closely by, "Hey Logan! Didn't tell me my girl was back". Max was shocked that Original Cindy hadn't come out with one of her usual lines to describe Logan, obviously they had become closer than she thought whilst she was gone. This warmed her immensely knowing they both had someone to talk to.

Logan was smiling when they rounded the corner, Original Cindy's arm draped over Max's shoulders. "Thought I'd let her surprise you like she did me". He stole a quick smile in Max's direction.

"It weren't funny so you can wipe that smug look of your face to start", Original Cindy joked along.

Max looked back and forth between her two best friends in the world. She must have caused them so much unnecessary pain. She detangled herself from Original Cindy's embrace and made her way over to the couch.

A/N: Ok I hope you liked it, please let me know what you thought. I'm sorry it took me so long to get up but I was planning on having this chapter and the next all as one but it seems to be taking forever so I thought I'd give you half. I hope I haven't lost any of your interest because it's up later than expected. Please review and thanks for reading.


	3. Nothing is Sacred Anymore: PART TWO

**Title**: Resentment, Recuperation and Resolution

**Rating**: R (Due to issues of rape, torture, violence and sex scenes later on).

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, they are property of James Cameron and Fox.

**Name**: X-318

**Summary**: Designate This Re-done. There is NO virus in this story but will Max and Logan be able to recover what they had missed out on, for being separated for so long. Enjoy! Ok, this chapter took me ages to write so I hope you like, here it goes. I'm sorry this took me so long to get out! Trying out a new divider for the sections, the others were annoying me.

You will be glad to know I finally have myself an excellent proofreader, Sim-r. Huge thanks for her patient with me and for correcting all my horrible mistakes. Happy reading let me know what you thought, all reviews are good to me if it's praise or criticisms, it's all good.

Thanks for all your reviews they were very much appreciated! You have inspired me to continue writing loads more. Thought u deserved to each be addressed personally;

**Bob**: You have summed up what I was aiming for perfectly. Thanks for the positive review.

**SuzyQ**: I am writing a new chapter for "Created to kill" at the moment, this week I promise.

**Babyangel86**: Thanks for the vote of confidence, and I'm glad you're in for the long haul. I'll try not to disappoint.

**Sim-r**: Thanks for the warm review that's made me a lot more confident in my work, and again for reading through it for me, you've helped a lot.

**HuntressK**: Short and sweet thanks.

**Maria656**: I am so sorry about the whole jumper thing. I have a marvellous proofreader now so shouldn't happen again. If it's any consolation I have that disturbing image in my head now as well. It's funny when you think about it, Logan in a dress:) And yes a jumper and a sweatshirt are practically the same, jumper heavier material. Thanks for wishing me to continue, its very reassuring.

**Chapter 3: **Nothing is sacred anymore: PART TWO.

"What happened, Logan? When did she come back? How?" Original Cindy burst out as soon as Max was out of earshot. Something was obviously different; her girl wasn't acting like her usual self. She looked down at Logan and could see the concern plastered across his face. His attention was fully on Max as she walked over to the couch, looking out of the window. OC wondered if the guy had even heard her questions until he started to respond.

"I don't know. Last night and again I have no clue", he answered one after the other. Ever since Max had returned she had been going in and out of this distant behaviour, he wanted to know the answers to those exact questions himself but just didn't know how to approach the subject. He didn't want Max to relive this pain by explaining it all to him, but he also knew if she didn't it wouldn't just go away and he wasn't prepared to lose her again.

Max was sitting in the same spot he had become even more familiar with in recent months, just staring out at nothing in particular. He hadn't even noticed Original Cindy's delicate hand on his shoulder until there was a light squeeze. He looked up to see his own worry being reflected back at him.

"Has she said anything?" OC questioned trying to think things through logically, otherwise she would start crying herself.

"About what happened? No, I was kinda hoping that's where you would come in. Maybe she'll open up to you. I've come up blank, she's not even mentioning it, it's like she never even went anywhere for these past three months." Logan's usual confidence was gone; he sounded desperate for some way through this.

Original Cindy didn't know if she could do anything, if the man sitting in front of her couldn't get through to Max she didn't think she could make any difference. She was sure Logan knew more about her girl than herself, Max was so closed off all the time. She couldn't blame her though it was how she got through life on a daily basis; she couldn't allow anyone in just in case they couldn't be trusted. And now it was up to her to break down this barrier that Max had taken so many years to build in order to help her. "I'll see what I can do boo, but honestly there's no one she would open up to more than yourself". She gave his shoulder one last squeeze before going to join Max on the couch.

Logan's eyes followed her thinking through what she had said. He wouldn't believe it, if it were true wouldn't she already have opened up? Then again he had no idea how bad whatever had happened to her was. He decided to stop thinking about it and see what else he could occupy his time with. If Max opening up to OC was going to work he couldn't sit in the next room staring at them. He gave his left wheel a gentle tug so he was facing the computer. He turned it on and the screen soon came to life. He had no idea what he was going to do but one thing for sure he had enough Eyes Only work to be doing for a lifetime, yet another thing he had let lag whilst Max wasn't around.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Original Cindy perched herself on the chair, her face to Max's back. She decided to wait until Max wanted to talk. Both could see each other's reflection in the full-length windows that surrounded Logan's apartment. Original Cindy saw a brief recognition in Max's eyes at her presence but she just turned her head instead of addressing her. Silence filled the apartment except for the gentle tapping of keys in the other room.

Original Cindy was about to say something when she saw Max trying to form words that weren't quite escaping her mouth. Every time she would open her mouth she would quickly close it again. Instead focussing her attention on the clouds that were quickly consuming the sky outside. Max let out a sigh; Original Cindy thought maybe it was exhaustion or maybe even frustration.

"Looks like it's gonna rain", OC finally said after it was plainly obvious Max was not going to go first. After it had passed her lips there was no going back. It was the dumbest thing to say after they had not seen each other for almost three months, but she was not one for silence. If Max wanted to pretend that nothing happened she'd go along with it, for now, until Max was ready.

Max turned in her seat but her face didn't quite reach the same level as Original Cindy's, her eyes were trained on her hands instead. "I'm sorry", finally made it out her mouth in the barest of whispers. She could taste the salty tears in her mouth; she didn't want to cry and continued saying those same words in her head. Since returning she had already broken down a million times over, most recently in the bathroom after Bling's arrival. It was not something she was familiar with and she had had enough.

"Sorry for what boo? There's nothing you've done that's your fault", OC was almost shouting not in anger but in frustration at whoever had done this to her girl. "What did they do to you?" she asked leaning forward and placing her arm around Max's shoulders. There was no pussy footing around anymore, all she wanted to do was make sure harm came to whoever put Max in this situation.

She could feel Max starting to shake under her arm, when looking down at her hands she realised it wasn't from crying but much worse. She had never experienced seeing her girl go through a seizure before, Max had made sure of that. She had always locked herself in the bathroom at their apartment because she didn't want her friend worried about her. OC started to stand, "Do you want me to get Logan? What do I do? Do you need anything? Where are your pills?" the questions were endless, shooting out her mouth before she even thought each one through.

Max simply pointing towards the bottle that was resting on the table to the side of the couch.

OC's hands were shaking as she grabbed the bottle and started opening it for Max. Giving her the pills she watched Max swallow them with ease, not even drinking anything to help them down. She looked at the size of the pills and wondered how anyone could down those things in one without choking. Silly question, she soon realised, Max isn't like everyone else. She sat back down, this time next to her friend holding her close until the shaking died down.

"Logan told me you had…you died. How is it I'm talking to you now?" Original Cindy said what she had been dying to say ever since she laid eyes on her at the door. Max was silent, unsure of what to say. "It's ok boo, yah don't have to explain, I'm just glad yah back. Just one thing…" Max looked up at her friend, the first time properly their eyes meet since OC had arrived. "…You aren't goin' anywhere? Right. Cause I don't think Logan and me could take it again. Just something between you and me, he can really mope when he has to, and that hair…I hope he decides to do somethin' about that seeing as you're back an' all, he now has the perfect reason". Max smiled, she had noticed that his hair wasn't as spiked up as it used to be and had grown a couple of inches. "Finally, there's the Max we all know an' love", OC pulled her friend in for a big hug.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Logan stopped to stretch his aching muscles, sitting at a computer for most of the day and night wasn't the cleverest of things to do. He wasn't really concentrating on the task at hand anyway; he couldn't get Max out of his head. Whilst she was gone, presumed dead, he couldn't concentrate because he missed her so much and now that she was back he couldn't concentrate because he constantly needed to know if she was okay. He realised how long he had been sitting there and he could sense the pressure building behind his eyes from looking at a bright screen for hours on end. Rubbing his temples, and stretching out his back, he pushed off from the table to adjust his seated position.

Sitting over on the couch Max caught his attention, and soon he was sitting there staring at her angelic nature. Every now and again a smile would adorn her gorgeous face and Logan couldn't help but smile to himself.

Original Cindy's vision had not neglected to notice the attention they were under. "Logan loves yah boo, I've seen da way he looks at yah. Pretty much the way he's lookin' at yah right now", Original Cindy said nodding her head in the direction of his office. Max spun round on the seat to see Logan looking straight back at her.

"He doesn't want someone as messed up as me. He deserves better", she could see Logan with an uneasy smile on his face, she looked away to not see the pain she had caused.

"Stop saying that boo, you're givin' Original Cindy a headache. When you weren't around I got first hand view of how much he was broken up. After a few days an' no word from yah, I was worried so I tried phonin' yah boy here. After like the fifth message I left, I decided to come 'round an' do some investigating of my own. I found him sittin' in this exact chair lookin' out the window. You should've seen him; it was like nothin' was worth anythin' anymore. Me and Bling went through hell tryin' to get something down his throat to survive…well except for the booze he was chuggin' back…" Original Cindy could see the tears threatening to escape Max's eyes but decided to continue anyway. "…It's like he gave up. Now tell me again he don't want and care for your ass."

After hearing what Logan had gone through because of her it only confirmed it even more in her head that she was no good for him, all she does is get people hurt. "While I was in Manticore that's all I thought about, being with Logan. But why would he want me." Max diverted her eyes looking down at her hands, the scars present bringing everything back.

"My girl's finally come to the real, that she loves her man. 'S 'bout time an' all. I know it's terrible what happened back at Manticore. But Logan loves you, he wants to help, let him in. I know it's a scary concept to trust someone but he won't judge you, he knows it's not your fault, he's worried for yah tha's all. The boy's smitten with yah. I saw it whenever I came round, He thought 'bout you everyday boo. An' for a guy he ain't half bad, if I was inclined to go straight you'd have a fight on yah hands". From that last remark she was able to get a slight chuckle out of Max.

"I'll be surprised if he ever wanted to look at me again after he finds out what I've done", Max choked. Original Cindy's curiosity was piqued but she knew Max would tell her what had happened if she wanted to.

Max sat there thinking about what her friend was saying, _it was all true he's shown it so many times. I just didn't see it, I didn't want to see what was happening between us 'cos of what would come attached to that_. _If I got caught up in the emotions I could've got him hurt. _Then she realised it was too late it had already happened, she couldn't not have feelings for him, they were already there. "We kinda already kissed", Max whispered hoping OC would have heard her the first time so she didn't have to repeat it.

Before OC could respond she noticed Logan coming over so she decided to let it lie, for now anyway.

Realising he had shopping to do he wheeled himself into the living room as two sets of eyes came up to look at him. Whilst Max was not around he had failed to keep his cupboards stocked up with food. Now that she was back he wanted to create a culinary miracle she would enjoy.

As he stopped and looked ahead, everyone was waiting to hear what he had come over for. "Umm…I was gonna go out. Got some shopping to do", his attention was completely on Max now, "Will you be ok? Is there anything you want?" Max was so mesmerised by the concern and love etched in his eyes and voice it took her a while to form any type of an answer.

Her mouth was open but before the words made it past her lips OC butted in. "Course she's gonna be good, she's got me to have her back". Max looked from Original Cindy to Logan and back again as they all burst out laughing. Logan saw the smile that could light up any room and was now finding it hard to leave, his hands motionless on the wheels.

"I'm good Logan you go do what you have to, but hurry back I've missed you too long", Max said turning a light shade of pink in the cheeks. Logan shot her a dazzling smile then back off towards the bedroom to put the exo-skeleton on.

"Okay where were we...? Oh yeah, you kissed?" OC shrieked in answer to her own rhetorical question.

Max's face was now turning a deep crimson. She was never the girly girl to kiss and tell. From the lack of a response Original Cindy took it as a 'yes'. "Spill immediately", she demanded. The topic they were suppose to be discussing was soon forgotten, and they were back to there comfortable chatter which manly consisted of Max's relationship with Logan and how OC always insisted that they were an item even if they didn't see it themselves.

Max gave in, realising after all the years she'd known OC that she wouldn't give up. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything…No detail left out. I need to catch the gossip when I can, my life ain't all that interesting".

Max smiled at Cindy's explanation of her life and how dull she made it seem. "Well you know when I went into heat and ended up cancelling our date and going off with the pizza delivery guy instead", OC was bobbing her head up and down in response. Max thought this was the quietest she had ever experienced her friend being. "Well, the next night I came over and told Logan everything, he didn't hold any of it against me though. Actually the opposite…" Max was silenced in thought everything finally making sense, it was true Logan loved her.

"And?" Original Cindy prompted.

"We kissed, on the floor when the exo short circuited…" Max may have been there in person but her thoughts were elsewhere. She had been so blind all this time, and for what, Logan still got hurt in the long run. Then Max's thoughts went to what had stopped them from taking anything further and she didn't even realise the tears streaming down her face. Also the fact OC had pulled her closer and was stroking her hand through her hair.

"What is it boo?"

Max didn't even know she was speaking until she heard her own voice come back to her. "Zack…he…he", she could no longer say the words she was choking on, there was a lump in her throat stopping her from speaking. Images ran through her head of Zack strapped to a table, why, he couldn't have moved if he had wanted to. Then Director Renfro had explained to her what had happened, that her brother had taken his own life so she could survive. If you could call being tortured non-stop in that place surviving. But then if he hadn't made that sacrifice she would never have seen Logan again. His gorgeous smile that magnetized her to his every word, the stubble she could still feel against her chin as she kissed him on the floor the night of their anniversary. Those crystalline blue eyes that everyone saw but only she really knew. She hurt so much physically from the pain in her heart and her body, but even more so she was glad she was back, with Logan.

"He saved me OC". Max finished.

The next hour or so had been taken up by Original Cindy telling the latest endeavours of Sketchy, which consisted of him, his bike, a hot chick and a puddle to say the least not only made up of dirty rain water. It ended with Normal not allowing him to go home to change and everyone in Jam Pony avoiding him like the plague. Max was laughing so hard her whole body ached even more than it already did. She was now asleep, the pills and the lack of sleep catching up with her.

Arms filled with goodies, Logan returned from his shopping expedition, to be welcomed by an eerie silence. Immediately thinking something had happened to Max, he dumped the bags on the work station in the kitchen and rushed to the living room. He was incredibly relieved to see Max had only fallen asleep and Original Cindy was sitting with her waiting for his return. Max's body was stretched out on the couch with her head on OC's lap.

"It's 'bout time boo, I'm late for work, I'll be lucky if Normal don't fire my ass." Original Cindy spoke with a hushed voice as she moved Max's head off her lap and propped it back on the arm of the chair. Max muttered something in her sleep before rolling over to face the back of the chair.

OC and Logan both looked at her to see if she was going to wake up or stay submerged in sleep. After no further movement from Max, Cindy walked over to meet Logan in the doorway. "She didn't tell me what happened, but she needs you. Now more than ever. She may not know it or admit to it but it doesn't make it any less true. She's not as strong as she thinks she is".

Logan looked at the woman on his couch that had so much life experience, but when she was asleep looked too young to even know about the things she had gone through. "Did she say anything about going home later?" he asked not really wanting to know the answer if it was a 'yes'.

"No…" relief flooded over him, "I think its best if she stays here for now, I've got some things I need to sort out. It's best if she's not alone".

Logan just nodded his head, deep down overjoyed that he didn't have to be parted with her just yet.

"Anyway I better go before I have no job to go back to", she stepped past Logan and opened the door ready to leave. "Remember what I said, you take care of my girl, you hear me?" She didn't wait for an answer; instead the only sound was the door clicking back into place.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Max sat on the cot in her cell, contemplating what she could do now she was in this terrible situation. The door opened to her room and an X5 entered standing in her way to prevent any attempt at escaping, when the door closed, clicking into position. "Oh great, what's gonna happen to me now?" Max asked herself more than anyone else.

The young man started to approach her not even making eye contact with his subject. "What did they send you in here for?" Max asked when her answer was becoming way too real. He was starting to un-do his belt. At first Max thought it might be for a weapon but it was much worse. Max stood up ready to fight, her hands in position to defend herself.

The soldier reached out pushing her back with great force so she was sitting on the bed yet again looked up at her attacker. He grabbed her wrists in an attempt to pin her down but she started moving beneath him kicking her legs and making it hard for him to do anything. "Get the hell off me", Max shouted, her strength was weak she had been pumped with drugs and beaten on a daily basis.

"Shut up bitch, this will be a lot easier if you don't move", the soldier spoke for the first time since entering her cell. Max was taken off guard as the back of his hand made a connection with the side of her face. She could taste the bitter tang of her own blood in her mouth. She felt dizzy but this was no time to think about that, she needed to fight back. She tried to move her hands from their position above her head when she realised that they were tied in place by the leather of the X5's belt.

He was now standing above her looking down at the person he classed as filth. "Does it make you feel proud to have drawn this assignment? Make you feel like a _man_?" Max spat emphasizing the last word with a venomous taste. Since returning Manticore hadn't bothered to help her with her seizures, even though they now had the technology as Lydecker had told her. They didn't think she deserved any special treatment. Instead they had run tests on her, finding something they liked. Something Renfro wanted to experiment with, she had told her that they knew it was in one of the X5's that escaped but not which one. That was the reason for the death of Tinga, the experiments they conducted were too much for her. Max had been sent back to her cell and on numerous accounts other male soldiers had been assigned to copulate with the prisoner resulting in a great deal of fighting and them leaving with their tail between their legs. Now it seemed Renfro had instructed force, and this is where Max was now.

"I said shut up", he kicked her in the side as the sound of ribs cracking echoed through the room.

Max pushed the pain aside gritting her teeth together.

He wasn't touching her in any sexual way, it was just a task to him, a mission to complete. His knees pinned her down, forcing pressure on her flesh that would most defiantly leave a mark she would never be allowed to forget.

Logan could hear Max's cries in the next room. He moved as fast as he possibly could without toppling over and gently glided to a halt beside the couch were Max was thrashing around, kicking and waving her arms about. He slammed his brakes on as she continued to scream, "No!" followed by something that sounded like "I won't let you take me!" Logan felt worse than at any other time in his life, seeing his Max go through this pain and knowing there was nothing he could do about it.

He gently took hold of Max's shoulders repeating her name over and over. "It's okay Max, It's only a dream, please wake up baby", Logan pleaded running his hands through her hair and down the side of her face. Logan could see movement under Max's eyelids, fluttering caused by her dreaming.

After a short period of time Max opened her eyes looking straight into Logan's. She bore the same expression as a deer caught in headlights. Logan could see a mixture of emotions buried deep in those eyes. He saw sorrow, fear, hate, sadness, pain; this simple act of looking someone in the eyes was tearing him up inside. All the feelings he had kept hidden before Max was dragged back to Manticore were evident, even to a complete stranger. He couldn't deny what he felt for this woman. Max was something unique and everyday he was grateful for that one moment a year ago when she had broken into his place, to rob him of his belongings and his heart.

"You had your hair cut". Max reached out to touch the newly shaped spikes. Whatever had just happened in her dream was forgotten.

"Yeah, thought it was getting a bit out of hand. Barber nearly had a heart attack when he saw me show up after so long". Max chuckled, remembering OC's words.

A/N: Please let me know what you thought, especially of the OC bit cause I wasn't so sure on that myself.What didyou think ofMax' memeory, wasI too harsh? If so I'm sorry!What do you think of the plot so far? Do you have any questions? I'll be happy to answer just let me know, I live for reviews, writing them and receiving them:)


	4. No One's Perfect

**Title**: Resentment, Recuperation and Resolution

**Rating**: R (Due to issues of rape, torture, violence and sex scenes later on).

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, they are property of James Cameron and Fox.

**Name**: X-318

**Summary**: Designate This Re-done. There is NO virus in this story but will Max and Logan be able to recover what they had missed out on, for being separated for so long. Enjoy! I know I said that I would be putting up a chapter to "Created to Kill" before I did this but I'm having serious writers block with that particular story at the moment. But when I do put it up it's gonna be a long one, the past few days I've had a few ideas in mind, so I apologise to those that wanted a new chapter. Hope this one makes up for it, I much prefer this story at the moment anyway. But I have SO not abandoned it! Thrust me. Ok, this chapter took me ages to write so I hope you like, here it goes. Thanks for all your reviews they were very much appreciated! And the next chapter is also nearly finished so that should be up sooner than the normal 2 months or so.

Just a quick thank you to those who reviewed;

**SuzyQ**: Your encouragement for me to write, and the way you are still sticking with this story and my other is very nice to know. I hope you like this new instalment; your reviews keep me going :)

**Flash**: Thank you for your review, I'm the worst critic of my own work, so knowing that you thought the OC went well is very reassuring. As for the Max memory comment, I was unsure how to take it, whether you meant I couldn't be harsh to her or that she'd been through so much nothing is shocking. But anyway I took it as the latter one hope I presumed correct. And I'm sorry this isn't as soon as you probably hoped but at least I ain't quit right, I'm enjoying this too much to right now.

**Black Rose9**: It was very nice to see your review, I have read some of your work and you are awesome, your one story is on my list of reviews I need to write, it's a long night for me. So it's nice to be appreciated. I take on board the OC comment and will try to improve in future chapters, it's what the reviews are about right, and all comments are good to me if it makes the story better. And as for Deck I can't say too much because that would give away the plot, but yes he will be in it some time, not sure when yet, but all is not what it seems.

**Domitila**: Jesus Christ thank you for that review (sorry about the language) but your review made me over the moon. I can't believe someone thought that about my scribbling. I really hope you are still reading this, I know it's probably been a longer wait than you had hoped. Thanks again, it's always nice to be liked :)

Ok that wasn't as short as it turned out to be, you guys are great. Thanks for reading everyone even the ones that didn't review!

As always thank you so much to Sim-r for betaing for me, don't know what I'd do without you, I ain't the best speller in the universe and all your help is very much appreciated.

**Chapter 4: **No one's perfect.

Max sat up and moved to the end of the couch so she could get a clear view of Logan working, grabbing the cushion and wedging it between her stomach and her knees, which she had brought up to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs, careful not to cause any harm to the stitches on her stomach, and inhaled the scent from the material, so reminiscent of the man in front of her. That unique smell of cinnamon and spice from his aftershave, mixed with the fresh soapy smell from the shampoo he uses. She could remember running her fingers through his hair during those two occasions they had let the barriers down long enough to get close. The texture was not something she had expected, soft and silky despite the use of all those hair products. Looking over at him now with the newly formed style, slightly shorter than she was used to, she had a sudden urge to trace her fingers through the path she had taken all over again. Her lips turned up at the ends recalling what OC had told her. Was it true that he had done this for her? Whatever the reason it was something that had needed to be done sooner or later.

Logan could feel a pair of eyes boring onto the back of his neck. He looked over to see Max staring at him from her position on the couch. As their eyes made contact Max glanced away, turning her head to gaze out the window. It was a clear night and she could see a few stars lining the sky. The moon's reflection shone from some of the windows of the high rise buildings opposite. She took a deep breath before snuggling her chin down into the cushion.

Logan was deeply worried about Max; he had never seen her this troubled before. He wanted to help her but didn't know how to approach the subject. The last thing he wanted was for her to run because she wasn't ready for his questions. Something wasn't the same anymore; things had changed and not for the better. Whenever he tried to get close Max would push him away by changing the subject, preventing him going any further with the issue.

Max returned her view to the kitchen and saw Logan was no longer looking at her. She breathed a sigh of relief and spoke to him. "I'm gonna go freshen up." Logan turned on hearing her voice but only caught sight of her figure retreating down the corridor.

Since Max had returned he had ceased trying to find out any more information on Manticore; reminders of her captivity were the last thing she needed to see around the house. Files on the place that had taken so much away from her. They each held secrets from the other, and both were incapable of approaching the subject but couldn't let it lie. _Why did I just go along with Max's change of topic when she woke up?_ Only seconds ago she was thrashing around in her sleep and now she's acting almost normal again. They couldn't continue like this. But it is how she had been trained to deal with emotions, to bottle them up. It was up to Logan to help her face the truth, and show her that he wanted to help. But the question he kept asking himself was how? Just come out with it? Bombarding her would not help matters.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Once Max arrived at the two parting doors, she peered into Logan's bedroom. The sheets had been straightened from the mess she had left them in. After contemplating whether she should use the master bathroom or the guest she decided to make the most of it. She crept slowly in, as if she shouldn't make a noise to alert Logan to where she was, and shut the door behind her quietly, hearing the latch click into place.

Now standing in front of the mirror that was attached above the sink, Max took a deep breath. She had to tell Logan so much, but had no clue where to start. She turned on the tap, cupping her hands under the cool liquid before splashing her face. Droplets of water hung from her eyelashes and dripped from her chin. How could someone change so much in such little time? She no longer had the wavy hair to her shoulders she'd loved so much; now it hung long and straight down her back, with split ends. Manticore did not care about such essentials as of how its soldiers looked. Everything was about the mission, and the completion of said mission.

Max reached down and pulled the hem of her top up. The bandage Sam had covered the injury with was there in plain sight; the bleeding had slowed down and there were only a few drops of blood to mar the white dressing. Max took the edge and peeled the tape back; it pulled on her skin and the tiny hairs but she didn't even wince. Once the bandage was far enough back Max could see the mark that was taking forever to heal. Normally things like this would have cleared up in two days or less, but Manticore had made it their mission to make it last as long as humanly possible; something to remind her of her mistakes. They had stopped giving her the foods needed to build energy for the body to heal, and extracted the nanocytes every X series were given to help them recover from battle.

Max was not fazed by what they had done to her; nothing mattered any longer, and they had already done their worst. She would just take herself away, not let them win. Moving the top higher up there were several marks over her body, each from a new torture weapon, something they thought they would test out on her first. They called it a privilege; something they hoped would break her. But she had made herself a promise that if she was ever taken back that would never happen; she would never become another one of their children of the damned.

Max could see two burn marks, both small and a perfect two inches from each other; there were a few of them dotted around her body. They didn't hurt now, but when they were administered a searing pain shot through her body. Max had hoped they would continue so that she could pass out and no longer have to feel it. The electricity running through her body reminded her too much of when she suffered from her seizures.

At the moment these marks looked like they would always be there, but thankfully they would fade. If only the memories would do the same. Max stuck the bandage back in place and washed her hands before leaving the sanctity Logan's room produced, and made her way back to face him.

As she made her way across the short distance separating them she made quick work of lighting a few candles in her path. The room came to life from the flames and cast a warm glow over the surroundings. The flickering light threw the smooth contours of her face into sharp relief.

Nothing had been said about what had gone on during those three months of hell and even though she had been back only a short time, it was eating away at him, the not knowing. He kept telling himself that he should just be grateful that she was back and with him, but something wasn't right. If Manticore was still out there they would not let this lie so easily. Was it that prospect that was making Max scared to open up to him? He looked over for the second time to see she was approaching him, with a smile on her face no less. She was trying to be so strong, not break down and show weakness. Didn't she already know all that didn't matter to him? _The amount of times she stayed around on my account, now it's my turn to return the favour. Doesn't she know I love her and would do anything for her? _

He saw she had paused in his office, looking down at all the papers that littered the desk. _Great time to get lazy Logan, what if she sees something?_He started kicking himself for leaving everything out for her to see. Instead he struggled to think of something to distract her with. That would be a great way to approach the underlying topic, her seeing some of the information I dug up on Manticore.

Max was not really looking at the folders before her; instead her eyes rested on the computer screens. The logo every dirt bag loved to hate and every victim honoured. "See you started your attack on Manticore while I was gone." She remarked, loudly enough for the sound to reach Logan in the kitchen.

Logan stopped what he was doing and peered round the partition to see Max still in his office. Had she seen something? He wondered, waiting for her inevitable response to what he had been doing. He would have put money on what she was going to say next but when she did continue it was not as he expected. "You kept me going, you know." She turned round to face him. She was determined to not push him away forever; she had to get this off her chest now or she'd never have the courage. When Logan didn't respond Max was getting fidgety, at this point she wanted the questions he had for her, but they never came. "Logan?"

As soon as his name was mentioned he snapped out of the shock of her not having a go at him, for being dumb, irresponsible, the fact he could have got himself hurt in the process.

"I caught your cable hacks", Max said starting to walk over to him, her hips swaying from side to side. When she reached Logan she looked down at him, seeing his mouth agape. "You gonna do something more productive with that mouth of yours than catch flies?" Still nothing, the double entendre of what she had said was lost on him. "You know what, one way conversations aren't as much fun as when someone else joins in." she smirked as his eyes finally showed signs of life.

Logan shook his head and finally got out the question he had been pondering for the last five minutes. "How?" How could she have seen the hacks? She had been in Manticore, how did she know everything? Then he realised what she had said. _I kept her going_. They had not even mentioned where they were in their relationship with each other but Logan couldn't help the warm feeling inside knowing he had helped her during her terrible times. Silence filled the room as they both digested their thoughts.

Max could see the hope in his eyes and all her confidence to face reality disappeared as fast as it had arrived as her instinct to run kicked in. She needed to get back to how they were before. His intense gaze was nice an' all but whenever the thought of a relationship came into play she did the only thing she could. She ran. But Max didn't want to leave so she changed to subject again. "What you planning to cook me?" she said, stepping round his wheelchair to get into the kitchen. As nonchalantly as she could she hopped up on the counter, swinging her legs back and forth.

The need to clear her mind of her thoughts was overpowering. Her hands were permanently jammed in her pockets, hiding the scars that showed her weakness. She now thought she had some idea of how Logan must have felt whilst in the confines of that chair, no longer whole, weak and embarrassed to be in that situation. Angry and frustrated at allowing herself to feel this way. It was a tortuous cycle of emotions, with no prospect of escape.

Logan had always been there when she needed someone; seizures; help with relocating her siblings; always putting himself in the line of fire to help _her_. How could she dump her troubles on him again? Why would he even care about someone like her anyway? Maybe all those other times it was out of pity, or maybe he was afraid to say no. Did she really scare him into doing things for her? Max had never seen him look frightened of her before, but then again he had a way of hiding his feelings. They made a perfect couple; neither one of them prepared to truly open up and let someone in. Their lives before they knew each other had taught them that was the best way to survive without getting hurt, and now they were too far gone to realise how to get out of their ruts. They had come close on their anniversary get together, but because that moment was interrupted it was now even harder to get back to that place.

Logan wheeled himself over to the fridge, wondering what he had done to make Max close up again. The fact that she was brushing this all off as nothing was more worrying than what they may have done to her; how she could act so casual about it? He opened the door to get out all the ingredients he had brought at the market earlier. He had decided to make Steak Diane, something he had never actually made for her before, but none the less he thought she'd enjoy it. He crushed some black peppercorns and put the pan on to heat. After removing the steaks from the paper they were wrapped in, he studied them to see if they were still as good as they were when he handpicked them. Once satisfied, he coated them in the pepper, sprinkled them with salt and placed them in the hot pan. The sound and smell of the raw meat sizzling filled the apartment.

Max's nostrils flared at the smell of the meat slowly cooking on the stove. She jumped down off the island and moved over behind Logan without him noticing. "I haven't had a good piece of meat since I last ate here." She spoke right next to his ear, causing him to jump slightly. "Sorry, did I scare you?" She asked, stepping back to give them both a bit of room; her worries that he was afraid of her were kicking in again.

Logan turned to face Max and noticed the shy, innocent look on her face. "Nah, I'm fine. You just startled me there". He watched as she moved gracefully to his other side, inhaling the smell of the delicious food. Her feet were gentle on the hardwood floors as her body moved with fluid grace. It always amazed him to watch her leave his car to do Eyes Only missions. How could something so delicate be so dangerous?

"Could I help? I feel kind of useless just standing and watching", Max's lips pouted in a childish manner when he looked at her.

This was a new one. Since when did she ask to help him out in the kitchen? Original Cindy had told him Max was no good at cooking and something always ended up getting burnt. Why would she be offering now? "Sure…Ok…" Logan looked around the kitchen until something caught his eye. "Why don't you go slice the tomatoes for the salad." He nodded towards the counter she had just been sitting on.

Max stared at first; then a smile adorned her lips. "Alright, how do you want them? Diced, sliced, chopped or quartered?" She turned to see his obvious confusion. "What? I've learnt a few things being round here all the time, you think I just come to look at your gorgeous face?"

A blush crept over Logan's features, starting at his neck and working its way up. Did he just hear right, did she say gorgeous? Logan cleared his throat before eventually managing to stutter his answer. "Um, I'd say quartered seeing as it's for a salad."

"Right, quartered it is then", Max turned round to start her only job. She looked down at the chopping board then reached for the knife in front. An immediate flash of a stark white room came into her mind; she shook her head to force herself back to Logan's kitchen. She looked over to her right to see Logan's broad shoulder muscles working away under his t-shirt. Max smiled, turning back to the table in front of her after she was satisfied she was really there.

She glanced down at the object in her hands, forgetting when she had picked it up. The cold, harsh metal surface brought forth memories she fervently wished had stayed buried. She could hear a voice in her head, the words mumbled, and her head felt fuzzy from the uncertainty overwhelming her. Pressing the tip of the blade into the skin of the tomato, the surface pulled taught as the first drop of bitter juice erupted from the fruit. The knife was pushed further in, the substance oozing out becoming thicker and a deeper shade of red. Max shook her head, but this time it didn't help; she was no longer where she wanted to be.

_The room was cold, if it was actually cold or that was just the feeling she got from the place she didn't know, but it was haunting either way. The sterile surroundings she had come back to were now too much of a reality to her. The fact she escaped from all this before and the only time she would ever encounter it was at night in her dreams was now a fading parody of what life was like. A voice that pierced through her ears came to life, "452". Those three simple numbers were a constant reminder that no matter what Max said or did, she had no control whatsoever. She was a prisoner. "We have good news, congratulations you're…" Whatever came after that was lost, a blur in her head as her thoughts clouded. The sound of humming was what replaced the now faint echo, maybe from some machine in the room. It consumed her, taking up all her attention. Her eyes darted round the room, finally settling on the offending object. It seemed that the air conditioning fan grew louder, burning her ears. The simplest of noises personified like a drill in her head. She soon realised it wasn't even working, her skin was hot to the touch, she felt light-headed as if she was going to faint any minute. _

_Max could have sworn she felt something move inside her; but it couldn't be, she wasn't that far along was she? Maybe it was her stomach flipping over at the sickening thought that they finally got their way. Max looked at the table next to her, the need to get rid of whatever was inside her overpowering all other considerations. She grabbed at the first thing she saw, a surgical knife used as a tool when operating. She was standing in front of Renfro but noticed no movement. The smile on the woman's face sent shivers through her body. How could she have let them get their way? First with Zack and now they had the child they wanted to experiment on. Max would not allow this place to take any more from her. They already had her; she would not let them have the thing growing inside her as well. _

_She could feel the knife in her hand, concealed from all the guards and the bitch in front of her. The blade was digging into her palm as she unconsciously closed her fist around the instrument turned weapon. There was nothing in the world she would rather do than to use this on the person before her, sticking it right into her neck in one fluid motion.__ Puncturing a major artery inhibiting her breathing as the bleed out took her miserable life away__. But with the amount of muscle Renfro had around her that would be a useless act; she didn't have enough time or space to do it. She kne__w some of the guards were transgenic and she had been slowed and weakened by her imprisonment. She had to do the only other thing she could. The thought made her sick to her stomach but she was running out of time. After Renfro had finished talking to the doctor about what the next step would be it would all be too late. The word surrogate filtered in and that broke her. _

_She didn't feel the knife enter her abdomen or the agonising pain that would definitely come. All she could see as she looked down was the crimson liquid that filled her hands. Her legs gave way beneath her; everything was going black. The only thought in her mind was 'what the hell have I just done?' She knew she would regret this act for the rest of her life. As the being inside her died part of her died with it. She could barely remember figures crowding around her, thinking the best thing for everyone would be for them to leave her to die. _

Logan could see Max's hands had started shaking. Thinking it was from a seizure he automatically moved to get her pills, but felt something holding him back. Looking down he noticed Max's hand had grabbed his sleeve and was holding on desperately. He put his hands over hers, gazing into her face. "Don't leave me," she begged. Once the shaking had subsided a little, she sat down on his lap, a little hesitantly at first. He wrapped his arms around her to reassure her as much as possible. It seemed to work; she rested her head on his chest, her body moulding herself to his shape.

After sitting there in silence for some time, Logan reached up and moved the hair that had fallen down around her face, obstructing his view. Her tiny hand was curled into a tight fist holding the fabric of his shirt in her vicelike grasp. Her knuckles had gone a sickly shade of white, not too different to the colour now draining away the normal pink of her cheeks. Her eyes were open but with no sign of life in them. With one hand firmly around her waist and the other running his fingers through her hair, they were both lost in their own worlds. Logan was certain his was the more pleasant from the expression on Max's face. "Max?" He knew the response he wanted was not what he was going to get, but determined to try none the less.

She was frozen, stuck in the same loop, the same images playing in her head. She could hear a distant thumping of a heartbeat against her ear but thought nothing of it. Thinking was not something that she could do any longer. She was lost; the darkness was all around her and all she could feel was a dull ache in her abdomen. She was cold, so drew her body closer to the solid object against her. Her nails drug into the flesh on the palm of her hands, but the action had been of such high pressure the pain was also lost.

Logan was so consumed by what Max was going through that by the time the smoke finally reached his nose the fire alarm had gone off. His first instinct was to take the steak off the open flame and throw it straight into the sink. But as he moved his hands to the wheels and tried to roll forward the rims came in contact with Max's legs, and he ended up rolling back to where he started. He looked down but there was still no acknowledgement of what was going on around her on her face. "Max" he tried in vain, but there was still no response. He was about to try prying her hands from their position on his chest when small droplets of water started dripping from the ceiling as he looked up a blast of water like out of a shower head rained down on the two helpless bodies beneath. "Damn." He cursed under his breath. He'd forgotten about the sprinkler system. He brought his head back down removing his glasses, wiping them on the edge of his shirt before going to place them back on the bridge of his nose. At the last minute he realised what a useless act that would be, he could see as well with or without them at the moment. So instead he left them on the island in front.

Through all the commotion Max had still not moved a muscle, her hands locked in place. Logan reached down to Max's legs, knowing it was no good trying to move her from where she was, but he had to get to the valve to shut off the separate water system. He moved her legs so that they were wedged firmly behind his calves. Now he could at least manoeuvre the wheelchair around the kitchen. Once he got to the cupboard on the end of the counter he opened the door and saw what he was after.

With Max in his lap this was even more difficult for him than usual. He bent forward, one arm around Max's slim waist so that she didn't fall forward and bang her head off the granite counter top. With his other hand he made tedious work of turning the metal wheel; the right way, he hoped. At times like this he was glad he was in the chair with all that extra arm muscle, but then again if he wasn't in the chair he would be able to use both arms. The wheel was stiff and let out a high pitched squeal as the spray of water died down.

Looking down at their soaking bodies, clothes sticking to them and one another, Logan couldn't understand how she hadn't noticed what was going on. The noise from the fire alarm itself was enough to wake the dead. Things were worse than he thought; what could have happened at Manticore to put her in this state? She was cold, shivering from her wet clothes. He wrapped his arms around her, knowing she needed to dry off and change, but he would have to bring her out of her trance first.

With his hands moving vigorously up and down her arms to warm her as much as he could he brought her face up to his eye level. She was staring blankly at him as he spoke to her. "Max…it's all over, I'm here. You're safe now." but there was no response.

Now he was the one staring blankly into her face. Then an idea came into his mind; it was a long shot but worth a try, if it would bring Max back.

Max was freezing now, but no matter how much she held on to the warmth beside her she couldn't absorb any of the heat. It was a bitter coldness, not unlike when she was trapped under the ice back in February of '09 when she escaped. She could feel the water against her skin biting into her, a layer of goose bumps rising up her arms. She put her mind elsewhere, forgetting the pain like she had been taught so many years ago. A faint sound of a gentle voice was present but not strong enough to break through. Max strained her hearing but the sound just became even fuzzier against the water running through her ears. She closed her eyes to focus and on opening them…

She looked around and found that the darkness had faded to a slight dull glow in the distance. She could feel movement close by, but was not threatened by its presence. She felt safe away from the tortures Manticore enlisted; she was protected in this place, even though she had no idea where it was. As a soldier you were always taught to stay alert, to know your surroundings in case of an emergency. But all that didn't matter now because of this simple feeling.

She felt something smooth run over her shoulders and begin its journey up her neck. Her hair was moved aside and she was paralysed by the sensitivity it produced. The object heated the water around her and she could feel the droplets begin to evaporate off her skin. It was a weird feeling; she was no longer submerged but just wet, like she had been caught out in a heavy downpour. As the sense of being cold got lost in her head, she recognised the object. It was a hand. She leaned in as the tiny hairs on the back of her neck shot up, at attention. Max was humming with the love she could feel; never had she experienced something so warm and caring in her life.

With his eyes fixed on the woman in his arms, Logan traced his fingers over the now burning skin at the base of her neck. He could see he was having an effect on her as her head bowed down onto his shoulder, nuzzling the nape of his neck. For a fleeting moment he wished they could stay like this forever, a moment of calm before the storm hit. There was still so much that he needed to find out when Max woke up, but if this was second best he'd definitely settle for it. He moved his long fingers over the barcode she was branded with from birth, a mark to keep track of her but something he accepted as being part of his Max. He remembered the moment in front of the mirror just over a year ago, as he performed the same act on her as he was now. But this time he was not doing it for information, or to use her for his help, now it meant so much more to him. He had lost her and found her again, and now he was not giving up. He brought his lips down to her ear, whispering gently the words she had said to him when she was too weak and lost to say anything else. "Don't leave me". His lips brushed past the skin his fingers had been preoccupied with moments before.

AN: Can't believe I originally thought the past three chapters and the next chapter to come would all be one chapter, jeez that would have been long. That was sadder than intended; my friend says I should get out of the doom and gloom and write something happier. I have plans for this story to go that way some time, but right now this seemed the way to go. Sorry if it was too depressing and we certainly need happier M/L stories right now, but it's where the story was taking me. Hope you liked it, if you have anything to say about my writing, drop me a note, even if it's to say "crap", even though a little explanation should be helpful so I could improve on whatever it is. Have any questions don't be afraid to ask. Next chapter coming soon, Max and Logan talk. Peace. Out. X-318!


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